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Sarah Lotz

@ Sunday Times Books LIVE

A Love Poem to a Zombie

You can blame Karina, Alex and Helen for making me post this. It was read out in a very silly drunken voice at the Lounge of Horror event on Friday. (My apologies).

Till Death Do Us Part (An Anti-Twilight Love Poem to a Zombie)

 

 

You know I hate flowers, so you always bring brains,

Your skin gets all mouldy whenever it rains,

I’ll never forget when I first caught your eye,

And I’ve still got it here, though it’s withered and dry.

Remember our first date, when we lurched through the mall,

And you showed me the hole in your abdominal wall?

How romantic that was! How I laughed till I sobbed,

How I looked on with awe as you fought off that mob.

And our first kiss was magic, a true serenade,

(I’m sure that in time all the bite marks will fade)

I thought at the time ‘how refreshing to find,

A man so intent to get inside my mind…’

My dearest, I tell you, I’ve made it my mission,

To try and look past all your decomposition,

So what if you dance like a reject from Thriller?

No one can deny you’re a real lady killer.

You may not say much, mostly ugh-hhh and braaaaaiiinnnnns,

And it can get quite tiring cleaning up all the stains,

But there’s no one alive who can beat you at Twister,

(And I know that you’re sorry for eating my sister)

You’re always so eager to lend me a hand,

Or an ear, or a leg – and once – a lymph gland,

I can’t meet your parents (they’re quite strict at the morgue),

But I’m sure that I’d like them, and wouldn’t get gnawed.

And don’t take to heart all those things my dad said,

And the cruel joke he made about Dawn of the Dead,

That chainsaw was just a small misunderstanding,

And so were the shotguns he keeps on the landing.

You’re my Don Juan, my Romeo – if they were undead,

And left maggots and brain bits in Juliet’s bed.

So to death us do part, or till decapitation,

(I’m learning to deal with my sexual frustration)

You’re the best – you’re my soul mate – a fabulous feller,

And that’s why I keep you, chained up, in my cellar.

 

 

 

Recent comments:

  • <a href="http://karinamagdalenaszczurek.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Karina</a>
    Karina
    October 26th, 2009 @14:15 #
     
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    Thank you, Sarah - this must be shared with wider audiences :))) But I still confess to being a Twilight fan. Sorry...

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  • <a href="http://www.jassymackenzie.com" rel="nofollow">Jassy</a>
    Jassy
    October 26th, 2009 @14:20 #
     
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    Hahaha! Brilliant, Sarah!

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  • <a href="http://sveneick.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Sven</a>
    Sven
    October 26th, 2009 @14:30 #
     
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    That's just awesome, these would make great lyrics for a Misfits (hate the living, love the dead) style horror punk song.

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  • <a href="http://fionasnyckers.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Fiona</a>
    Fiona
    October 26th, 2009 @14:57 #
     
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    "And I know that you're sorry for eating my sister" Mwah haha hahahahahaha!!! This must have brought the house down at the Book Lounge.

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  • <a href="http://louisgreenberg.com" rel="nofollow">Louis Greenberg</a>
    Louis Greenberg
    October 26th, 2009 @15:06 #
     
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    Bwahahahahahaha

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  • <a href="http://www.moxyland.com" rel="nofollow">Lauren Beukes</a>
    Lauren Beukes
    October 26th, 2009 @20:35 #
     
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    It did bring down the house. Hilarious and amazing and darker than dark.

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  • <a href="http://www.harrisonbradlow.com" rel="nofollow">Harrison314</a>
    Harrison314
    May 5th, 2011 @17:52 #
     
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    That is wonderful! I'd love to have heard you reading that at your event.

    If you're interested, I wrote a book of similarly themed poetry. You can check it out at my site, www.harrisonbradlow.com

    Don't stop writing. You've got talent!

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